Writing Feature #7

-the Mega Charmeleon walks up onto the stage, stopping in the middle and grabbing the mic-

Hello? Hello hello? Is this thing on?

-taps the mic twice with a claw, wincing slightly at the feedback and coughing at the dust that flies off of it-

Ahem. Well, hello there. It’s certainly been a while since anyone’s taken the stage here. Like, years. Literal, actual years. But not to worry! That’s why I’m here. That’s right, folks. THE WRITING FEATURE IS BACK!

-pauses for effect, sighs at the general lack of response-

Tough crowd… Anyways, things have changed since the last Writing Feature. Namely, we’re short one slightly insane fire doge that used to head this thing up. But not to fear! Now you have a fire lizard instead. That’s right, I’ll be overseeing the Writing Features from now on! And with my newfound power, I’m making a few changes to the way these things work. Nothing to worry about, I assure you. Anyways, here’s what’s up:

Rules & Things to Know:
1.) Each Writing Feature will NOT be written by me. I’m doing this first one, but future Writing Features will have various Admins reviewing certain works – whether they choose a random story or select one that they feel needs recognition is entirely up to them.
2.) The goal is to have these Writing Features published every month. There’s no certain day of the month set for these things though, so do try to understand if it’s a while between entries.
3.) A Writing Feature may be done solo or with multiple Admins.
4.) A Writing Feature may review more than one story. It depends on what the Admin(s) for that month decides to do.
5.) Do not spam the Admins or the group with messages in an attempt to increase the chance of getting your story reviewed in a Writing Feature. This behavior will severely decrease your chances of being selected for future Writing Features.
6.) If a story’s been reviewed previously, it won’t be reviewed again (that includes the old Writing Features). I know it kinda sucks, but we have hundreds of people in this group, and therefore, we also have hundreds of stories. We want to feature as many people and stories as possible, and this rule is the only way we can do that.
7.) The Admin(s) writing a Writing Feature cannot review their own work.
8.) No stories by deleted members will be reviewed, or stories from members who have left the group.
9.) No reviewing the OS, lest we summon the righteous wrath of Brandon Chan.
10.) Admins must get permission to review a story on a Writing Feature from the author of said story. If a Writing Feature goes up that contains a review of your story without your permission, please either send the group or myself a Note. It’ll be dealt with accordingly.
11.) People whose stories are chosen may choose to supply the reviewer with a comment regarding their story, so long as they allow a review to be written, of course.
12.) There is no Rule 12.

So yeah! That’s how these things are gonna work from now on. Hope you’re as excited for them as I am!

Now, I bet you’re wondering which story is gonna be reviewed this time around. Well, if you’ll recall, the winner of our last contest won a Writing Feature. So, let’s get started with Spoonerdog’s sto-

-a Lucario jogs over, whispering something-

What? What do you mean her story isn’t ready yet?

-more whispering-

Well what am I supposed to do, then? Stand-up comedy?

-again more whispering, and the Lucario jogs off the stage-

Oh. Right. -clears throat- Well, slight change of plans everybody! Seems like Spooner is dealing with some pizza-loving Herdier at the moment, so we’ll just move on ahead to the runner-up of the contest, who also won a Writing Feature. Lightmaster677, you’re up!

Spinoff: Crystal Reflections
Link: fav.me/d7qpvp9
Creator: Lightmaster677
Creator Comment: "It [Crystal Reflections] was one of several story ideas that I came up with before even joining DA. I came up with it after reading several other Pokeumans stories and, as it was the one most developed in my mind, it's the one I went with first."
Creation Date: July 14, 2014
No. of chapters: 5
Chapter length: 6411 (This is an average, of course. Individual chapter length may vary.)
Protagonist Name: Shawn
Completion: On Hiatus

Pros: Interesting and somewhat different opening, formatting and spelling, good use of Ghost-type abilities, some great character moments, battle scenes are written well

Cons: Attempts at foreshadowing sometimes poorly written, protag seems slightly overpowered, some things don’t make much sense, tends to fall into the clone story trap

Review: From the first chapter, it’s easy to tell that Crystal Reflections is trying to stand out and be different. Instead of having the protagonist transforming at the start of the story, it’s actually his best friend Dave. After finding out about his change and trying to capture him, Shawn breaks free of his brainwashing and ends up fighting off other people to protect him. After catching the attention of a PRT Alakazam due to this, Shawn is taken with Dave to a base, where he is definitely not welcome. This opening is honestly very intriguing, and definitely shows that the story isn’t just being slapped together; it has real thought and effort put into it.

For example, later on in the story, we’re introduced to the idea of shadow manipulation, in which a Ghost-type can control and use shadows. This idea is used in a later battle that ends up helping out the Ghost-type a lot. It’s just one of the ideas that Lightmaster has used in the story to further explore the world of Pokeumans, and I found it to be a very fun concept. In fact, one of my favorite parts is when shadow manipulation is used in a prank to trick a bully into wearing flowery perfume. I actually did end up laughing aloud at that.

Speaking of bullies, however, Crystal Reflections does end up using them, as well as other things you might expect to see in a clone story. While it is unfortunate, I do feel the need to say that the main plot of this story hasn’t been started yet, so there’s definitely still potential for a great, original story here.

Final Word: It’s got some interesting ideas, and it does some things very well. However, it does end up falling into the clone story rut a bit. Still, for a story that’s yet to get into its main plot, it’s definitely worth a look, at least.

-sighs- Well, that wraps up this Writing Feature. Be on the lookout for next month’s entry! Until then, fellow Pokeumans.

-drops mic and walks off-